YOKOTA AIR BASE, Japan --
Article includes derogatory racial terms.
Evelyn Loise Saunders was the mother of seven children whom she and her husband raised in a three bedroom house in Durham, North Carolina. With other relatives needing a home, as many as 13 people lived in the house at any time.
Evelyn's youngest child was Master Sgt. Shamonte Saunders left home to join the U.S. Air Force. He is now the 374th Security Forces Squadron superintendent of logistics and training.
Saunders described his mother as 4'9" and never weighing more than 100 pounds, even when pregnant.
"She had thin black hair and big bright eyes," Saunders said. "When I would go home on leave I insisted that she stay in bed and rest, but it never failed; she would be up bright and early as if I were still in school and cook grits, eggs, and sausage patties."
Recalling his days in Durham, Saunders spoke about racism his family faced. Among those challenges was the time his father lost several fingers in a chainsaw accident.
"The third time my mother called 911 she had a disgusted and pained look on her face," Saunders said. "After she explained to them what happened and how badly the services were needed, their response was unreal. The operator said "'let the N- bleed'" and hung up."
Despite circumstances, Saunders explained that he never became bitter or negative. He attributes this largely to the woman who raised him.
"The deep-rooted values that my mom instilled in us were that you can't overcome those levels of ignorance," Saunders said. "You have to be the bigger person. Don't let it change who you are. Mom and grandma would always tell us to pray for them."
Perhaps the biggest challenge to the resiliency Evelyn instilled in her son came with his assignment at Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota. In route to his new assignment, Saunder's father passed away. The pressures only increased with a hectic work schedule involving extensive time in the field and little time at home or to himself.
The final blow struck as he was finishing his Minot assignment, when Saunders received word that his mother had fallen suddenly into critical condition. Due to faulty handling of the message, Saunders said, he did not receive notification until two and a half days after the American Red Cross notified his unit. Evelyn died soon after he reached her side.
"Losing my mother was a tremendous blow for my entire family," Saunders said. "She was the heart of the family that kept us all tied together."
Initially, Saunders said, he did not deal well with the situation. Anger changed him and led him to isolation.
"The wakeup call that told me I couldn't' do that anymore was when I looked around and saw that it was just me all the time," Saunders said. "I had to do soul-searching and look back on some of the things that mom taught me about family.
"It forced me to talk to some of them even though I was angry," he added. "We shared the pain and we helped each other get over it. The anger was contradicting most of the lessons and values she'd been pounding into us for years. We realized that there were still seven of us alive and there was no reason that any of us should be alone."
Saunders said that the memories of the struggles his parents went through have been what drives him to never give up. They sacrificed to give their children and family members a chance. Saunders said he refuses to let those sacrifices go to waste. After everything he has been through in life, Saunders said he feels focused, driven and fortunate. He is grateful to have escaped the negative parts of his history without letting them define him.
"You waste time being bitter and negative," Saunders said. "That brief moment of pain and anger is not for us to hold on to. Evolve, learn and don't let someone else go through those same experiences alone."
The engraving on her headstone properly reflects her memory that continues to guide her children's lives: "Don't forget about your mama." Saunders said that he passes on Evelyn's lessons to the Airmen who he has mentored along his career. They are the values of one hard working mother in a three-bedroom house in Durham North Carolina who always said to be a better person than those who hurt people, look out for others and always value your family.